3) negative & positive feelings of a leader 

( from Clays perspective if asked this question.)To be honest it depends on my mood set, mostly the conflict I had over the time of Hannah's suicide was very stressful and overwhelming. at first it was a major shock to be doing all of this. but if some random guy were to ask me this out of the blue I couldn't answer him because frankly I don't think I'm actually a leader. I wouldn't want to be a negative leader even if I was a leader I would probably take upon my self to make myself a positive leader giving out help to others in need. But mainly other than that I'm not a leader, thinking back when I was still a freshman in high school it seems I wasn't as heart worthy as everyone else, mainly I was a follower and many other were leaders. But with the event of Hannah's death, I guess things started to change. I'm not sure if they were for the better or for worse but somehow people started to take pity on me, maybe because they knew I had feelings for her. It was to the point were many people would reference her in any conversation at any given time. although after that incident I started to distance myself from other people. not my family but close friends I used to have a relationship with, not a "intimate" relisonship just a average joe friendly kind of like that. Do I feel positive? no, do I feel negitive? no; my main feeling right now is nutruel which is actually my main feeling I very rarely feel happy or mad which is fairly strange people tell me.  After the event I was very fairly mad and sad I had mix emotions but after it was done and all tapes were finished I had a chance to start anew to some what move on from the past and into the future...